she was so not down for the gang bang
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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