Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
