i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Watching her eat just hurts me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We are all done wearing pants today
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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