do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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