used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
