Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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