note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
