My nipple is on Facebook.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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