I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
