SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
