Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
