Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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