you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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