They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
