R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
