You're completely useless in the revolution.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
