Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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