I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
