do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
