eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
