Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
