How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
