My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
