I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
