So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
