people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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