ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
