Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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