why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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