Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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