did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
