Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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