I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
