just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
