He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
