Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
