there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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