Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How external is "for external use only"?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
