Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
