I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
