I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
