Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
