Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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