oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
