I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
