i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
nutella sex= disaster
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
