"it" just moved
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we're making bets on your personal life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
