She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
