i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she told me i tasted like america
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
