you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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