New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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