I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
